A New Era

I have always been an artist and a crafter, from my earliest memories til now creating has been an integral part of my identity. I come from generations of women who made beautiful things with their hands and it is my greatest honor to continue this legacy in their memory. I dreamt of being an artist one day, running my own small business.

When my mom suddenly passed away in 2019, it felt like my hopes and dreams died with her. I couldn’t fathom getting through a day, a month, a year, let alone the rest of my life without my mother. Every year there are more and more losses and I am left with more and more grief. I have never retreated into such deep isolation like I found myself in the last five years. If I have been out of touch, know I likely think of you often and have felt too much shame for the time that has passed to reach out again or explain what happened. I have been in survival mode for so long, I forgot what it felt like to live in community with others and that I could dream of more than just getting through each day.

Every time I have tried to come out of this funk, I never seemed to be able to live up to my hopes for reconnecting with friends and family or going back to grad school. It’s taken me five years to feel like myself again, like a human again. The grief is still here but there’s also a joy and excitement for the future that I haven’t had since I lost my mom and grandma.

Today is my 30th birthday. I have been trying to find the right time to start again and until now I really haven’t been ready. It’s devastating to know that some of the most important people in my life will never see me in this new decade. Every day I wonder what advice they would give or what they would say to a new finished project. However, I think the best thing I could do to honor their legacy is to continue creating beautiful things with notions and tools inherited from the generations of women in my family.

So, here we are. Lavender Haze Press is live and I am choosing to pursue my dreams again for the first time in a long time. I hope you’ll join me in this new endeavor! You can expect colorful and fun illustrated goods like stickers and pins, handmade quilted accessories, tufted wall hangings, hand poured candles, smoking accessories, ceramics, and more.

2019 felt like the end, but 2025 is finally feeling like the beginning again. Thank you for still being here.

Happy Aries Season! Smoke a joint for me! 🩷